Nakuria: The Election Cometh

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NAKURIA APARTÈ [NAKURIA HAS FALLEN]

The harmattan came earlier this year in Nakuria — the heartbeat of the animal kingdom in sub-Saharan Africa. Habitually, it is a time when every Nakurian (Animals from Nakuria) is excited about the preparations for the planting season which presents yet another opportunity to yield a bountiful harvest, but this year, they were most anxious about the forthcoming election in Nakuria and it was for these reasons.

Half a century ago, animalians who were angry about the nature of servitude in the larger body of the Kingdom Animalia in Europe broke free and settled somewhere in the rainforest region of Western Africa. Away from their masters, they screamed “Uhuru! Uhuru!” because it was the only language of freedom they understood, as they had all originated from 16 out of the 31 phyla in the animal kingdom, but in their quest to form a united front to prevent a futuristic re-capture and dominance by their former masters, they established the largest group in the whole of the animal kingdom, Nakuria. Although a new kingdom, Nakuria was built in the image of the Kingdom Animalia in Europe, as it adopted some of its practices and one of these was its style of leadership, ‘democracy’. Thus, it became a binding law in Nakuria, that an election was to be held quadrennially to bestow a new leader. However, by the 5th decade, the leadership continued to rotate amongst the Arthropoda, Mollusca, and Chordata which were the three dominant groups in Nakuria. Nonetheless, the kingdom thrived and prospered as a land flowing with milk and honey.

In The Beginning Was Naka and The Uzaga

As light will attract day, and darkness to night, Nakuria became the center of attraction and envy of other kingdoms in the comity of the Kingdom Animalia. That it began to raise questions like, “What is the secret of Nakuria’s unity in diversity?”, but for years, the answer to this question remained a mystery as annually, Nakurians gathered beneath the Uzaga (Tree of Oneness, where its ancestors swore a binding oath that formed Nakuria) to pay homage, allegiance and offer sacrifices in honor of Naka (god of Creation) for sustaining the peace and fostering unity in their land.

Years went by, and the ancestral roots of the Uzaga metamorphosed to black and began to rot, whilst the leaves on its branches withered in different dimensions as against the path it was nurtured to thread. This became a call for concern and Bolingo the Giraffe (Seer of Nakuria) was consulted to appeal to Naka to know what was wrong. Bolingo the Giraffe will return from the sacred mountains with a stern warning that Naka was angry with Nakuriansfor their poor choices of N’kuri (Leaders of Nakuria) that came after, as their ineptitude, greed and corrupt practices were against the visions of the first settlers of Nakuria.


Hence, it became a burden for subsequent leaders of Nakuria to dispel
Naka’s message and warnings that Nakuria was bound to split into separate kingdoms if it did not address its leadership problems which was creating disunity amongst the once prosperous and envious Nakuria. However, if Naka’s message was unclear in the years that followed, the events of the last eight years in Nakuria were unbecoming an eventual reality of everything Bolingo the Giraffe foretold stared them in the eye.

It has been told that the gods are wise and omnipresent, but through this period doubts were cast on the wisdom and supremacy of Naka for the impartial way his punishments were meted. Five full moons before now, Bolingo the Giraffe stormed the village square from his abode in the Eastern Woodlands and proclaimed that Naka had grown impatient with Nakurians and his wrath would be felt soon over the surface of the land. When the gods spoke, there was little Nakurians could do, so every animal mournfully returned to their households to await the plagues of an impending doomsday. High above the heavens, a thunderstorm rambled and it was House Eagle that Naka’s lot fell on. A disastrous hurricane swept all the nests from the tree-top into a ravaging flood slightly missed by Noah’s ark and for the whole rainy season, the birds struggled to survive on makeshift shelters as covers, awaiting the dry season when they have to gather sticks, lichen, spider silk, bark and mud to construct formidable tree-beds in their quarters. What followed was an unimaginable famine and drought, crunching starvation that culminated in a toll of deaths of which the majority casualties were the mammals in Nakuria. The crop infestation and rampant diseases led to an unavoidable epidemic outbreak displacing over 10,000 Nakurians into quarantine camps, whilst a faceless terror squad roamed free-picking Nakurians on their farmlands into oblivion. Meanwhile, in all of these, no plague nor death was recorded on the camp of the Chordata clan who began to pride themselves as “the chosen race born to rule over Nakurians” — a narcissistic claim that gave birth to Tyga the Tiger’s ambition to succeed N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion a fellow Chordata. Eventually, these thoughts kept other Nakurians wondering if Naka’s curse was real or a mere superstition to keep them languishing in the dark.

The Emergence of Political Gladiators  

Well, the bothering conclusion was that everything that happened in the last eight years was unheard of in Nakuria and as such, it was considered sacrilegious by the majority of Nakurians. Thus, it became the trigger that led some concerned Heads of Houses to gather secretly at dusk in the house of Tortoise the Sage an excommunicated member of the Chordata clan to discuss what steps should be taken. In this conclave were Elephant the Brave, Starfish, Sneaky Snail, Gangster Lobster, Butterfly Baddie, Orangutan the Ugly, Parrot Talker, Super Eagle and Webster Jnr representing the Head of the web family. They spoke at length and reached some resolution which included; nominating a consensus candidate in their next meeting to rival Tyga the Tiger whom the Chordata clan was prepping to succeed the outgoing N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion. Secondly, they were to embark on a radical sensitization to disseminate the importance of voting rights in the upcoming election by capitalizing on the maladministration of the last eight years and the need to avert another curse from Naka on Nakurians. In response to this, Parrot Talker and Super Eagle pledged to relay the message to their respective households to commence this task immediately as their contribution to the cause and every other animal present applauded them and shortly, departed to their households to sleep and deliberate over all that had been discussed.

It is a rule in the jungle that survival belongs to the fittest, so it was not out of place that, while this group was plotting, there was a counter-plot to eliminate seventeen members of House Tortoise who were brutally murdered midnight in their homes, while ten others were taken captives by the faceless creatures that continued to terrorize Nakuria since the reign of N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion. By dawn, their leader, Tortoise the Sage led a demonstration to the palace of N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion to seek his assistance and intervention from this nebulous group, but he mocked their pain and inflicted salt on their wounds with his uncouth tongue;

“The whole of Nakuria is saddened by the loss of members of your household. We pray their souls find rest with Naka, and I assure you that we will do everything to bring them justice. But maybe if they were not slow in anger as their movements, they probably would have fought back or escaped the fury of their assailants. Just maybe!”, he roared into thin air.

It wasn’t just now, but every time, N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion has been rumored to be the mastermind behind the rise of the faceless creatures which he uses to silence his critics and political opponents in Nakuria, his misguided utterances and body language in the public cage him in more controversies like this. His words cut deep into their marrows, lacking empathy both for the grieving members of House Tortoise and other animals who had converged to sympathize with them. The deafening silence that greeted the end of N’kuri Buarji’s consolation was filled with tension and convulsing rage to pounce on his ruff mane.  Alas, every Nakurian knew too well not to cause a scene in the palace against the gallant Za Tokkos(Nakurian Soldiers). Aside from the consciousness that it was a heavily guarded arena by the finest of soldiers, who have over the years quelled external resistance from neighboring kingdoms, most of these guards consisted of members of the 16 phyla that make-up Nakuria and so it was a taboo to even harbor such thoughts, much more an attack. So angrily, they all exited the palace swearing under their breath.

A House Divided Cannot Stand

It was his last year on the throne, but every day, Nakurianspray to Naka to relieve them of the pains N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion has brought upon them. Sadly, Naka would rather send a sandstorm to kill their offspring than accept their offerings to end N’kuri Buarji’s tyrannical reign.Perhaps, the great Nakurian Philosopher, Dr. Monkey Nkulu was right when he opined in his controversial book Nakuria Apartè (Nakuria Has Fallen), that “the gods do not interfere in the affairs of animals”. This is why when N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion became infamous for his lack of empathy and nonchalant posture toward the plight of Nakurians, Naka did nothing, but watch Nakurians suffer for the wrongs of the same Buarji whose victory at the polls eight years ago was prophesied and widely celebrated even by his messenger, Bolingo the Giraffe as the solution to Nakuria’s leadership problems.


So, when the animals gathered at the house of Tortoise the Sage for a second conclave, as tradition demanded, they performed
Unkuzi (Passage rites) and paid their last respect to the departed members of House Tortoise before the meeting commenced. It was now time for households to nominate their choices for a consensus and the leaders of each house, from Elephant the Brave, Starfish, Sneaky Snail, Gangster Lobster, Butterfly Baddie, Orangutan the Ugly, Parrot Talker, Super Eagle and Webster Snr to nominate their best to rival Tyga the Tiger in the forthcoming election. But halfway into their nominations, Tortoise the Sage crawled to the middle and interrupted pleading;

“First of all, I would like to appreciate the efforts we have put into rescuing Nakuria from the whims and caprices of the Chordata clan. But in doing so, we should not forget to be strategic else we will regret our decisions in years to come. As you all know, it is not by chance that Tyga the Tiger is been pushed to succeed N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion. They know they have lost the goodwill of Nakurians, and what better tactics to allocate all juicy positions to themselves, push the Chordata clan forward as a domineering force and impose their leadership stance in Nakuria for years to come? It is my conviction that all families represented here are worthy contenders to contest the throne, especially the minorities who have not been given a fair opportunity to sit on the Nakurian throne since its inception. But, it would be unwise for us to think Nakurians will rally behind just any candidate presented to them to rival the Chordata clan.

As a Chordata by birth and a septuagenarian who has seen these things play out, I have the wealth of experience to tackle this madness and curb the power tussle at play. Therefore, I beckon on every Nakurian to shove their aspirations temporarily for my unanimous candidacy.”

Immediately, the hall erupted in rowdiness as dissenting voices filled the air, with murmurings of betrayal emanating from a corner but Tortoise the Sage continued to speak;

“It is okay if tempers are flaring but we should tackle this forthcoming election as a battle that must be won, and sadly, emotions do not win battles. As you know currently, House Tortoise has sacrificed a lot for this cause, even in death. So I plead again, that I be our consensus candidate to challenge Tyga the Tiger in the forthcoming election.”

He concluded his speech and crawled back to his seat and for a brief moment, the hall fell silent.

As expected, this did not go down well with other houses who before this second conclave had mapped out their plans to clinch the throne with the help of this coalition. Unfortunately, the shocker was that none of the houses envisioned Tortoise the Sage and Elephant the Brave to put forward a nomination, neither did they expect any member of Chordata descent, excommunicated because they disassociated themselves from the N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion’s regime to present themselves as a consensus candidate, and this was why these set of displeased Nakurians honored Sneaky Snail’s invitation to converge at the house of Tortoise the Sage, for he was revered as the wisest of all in Nakuria and may just be the strategic alliance to end the Chordata’s reign.  

However, after much deliberation, except for Orangutan the Ugly, Elephant the Brave, and Parrot Talker, the other houses staged a walkout with their members following in quick secession and that gave rise to the Abba-Nakuri faction headed by Tortoise the Sage.

After the fallout with House Tortoise and his newly formed Abba-Nakuri party, expectations of ordinary Nakurianswere that the other houses would reach a resolution and adopt a consensus candidate from the marginalized minorities who will enjoy the goodwill and support of Nakurians, but these expectations were cut short when Sneaky Snail assembled an in-house conference for House Snail and announced the formation of the Sai-Nakuri party, under whose platform he will contest the Nakurian throne, because in his words;

“I cannot be a subordinate candidate under anybody. I am too experienced for that”.

In response to claims that its party, Akuri-Nakuri was disturbed by Sneaky Snail’s declaration and Tortoise the Sage’s nomination, its spokesperson, ChoChoCho Peacock boasted at the just concluded “14th Colorful Wings Colloquium”

“…Come rain, come sunshine, Akuri-Nakuri remains the party to beat.” And its rallying team of supporters cheered on.

But, to their utter dismay, in a clandestine move, the houses of Starfish, Gangster Lobster, Butterfly Baddie and Super Eagle adopted Webster Snr as their consensus candidate to join the race for the Nakurian throne under the Nakku-Nakuri party. To the amazement of every animalian within and beyond the shores of Nakuria, this last coalition was gaining momentum like never seen nor experienced in Nakuria before. It then begs the question; what was so special about the re-emergence of the Nakku-Nakuri party? Or is the whole ecstasy about the brilliance of its candidate, Webster Snr who had left a legacy as the Best-Performing Head of House in the last decade?

In an ironic show of shame, Tyga the Tiger of Akuri-Nakuri party promised to continue the legacy of N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion, Tortoise the Sage’s Abba-Nakuri party swore to restore Nakuria to its lost glory days, and while Webster Snr and the Nakku-Nakuri party was statistical in its promise to shape the economy of Nakuria from consumption to production, Sneaky Snail and the Sai-Nakuri party was acting all sneaky as the event unfolds.

The Introduction of BITA and Calumny

The campaigns had begun in earnest and yet again, the minorities in Nakuria did not actualize the desired change as regards the lineup of contenders for the throne. Again, all contenders for the Nakurian throne had directly or indirectly emerged from the three dominant phyla namely; Tyga the Tiger and Tortoise the Sage from the Chordata clan, Sneaky Snail from the Mollusca clan and Webster Snr of the Arthropoda clan. Nonetheless, the forthcoming Nakuria election was going to be different in many ways. It was going to be the first time the use of BITA (an artificial and transparent plant that reveals the votes as cast in real time) was employed. For a lot of young Nakurians who had hitherto not participated, BITA was the much-needed encouragement that spurred them into believing that this next election was going to be different from the previous ones that had brought in shady leaders down to the outgoing N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion. Even the Chairman of the electoral body in Nakuria, Professor Bat Bartimaeus was confident in the efficiency of BITA and this was why he went to the headquarters of Kingdom Animalia House in Europe and promised a free and fair election in Nakuria, encouraging other kingdoms to follow in the use of BITA in their election. But something happened!

A fortnight before the election day, some young Nakurianscried foul of possible disenfranchisement. The “olive silk” which signified their pass had not been delivered as promised by NAKU the electoral body that had encouraged this category to register and make their vote count. Unfortunately, their complaints were ignored as trivial and minimal in the grand scheme of things and the election went on as scheduled. On that very day, officials from House Bat who were in charge of this year’s election, arrived late at the venues to the annoyance of Nakurianswho had flown, crawled, swam and marched to their voting boots in large numbers. Nonetheless, under the rain and scorching sunshine they stood tall on their heels, closeted shells, ruffled feathers and dry beaks, patiently to vote their choice for the successor to the Nakurian throne, which was paramount in averting yet another Naka’s curse.

There is Fire in the Jungle

At dusk, unconfirmed sources pitched Webster Snr of the Nakku-Nakuri party as the leading candidate in the race for the Nakurian throne with an overwhelming edge of votes emanating from the Southern, Eastern and Central regions of Nakuria. Meanwhile, the same unconfirmed sources alleged that Tyga the Tiger of the Akuri-Nakuri party and Tortoise the Sage of the Abba-Nakuri party were respectively leading the Western and Northern territories of Nakuria, with Sneaky Snail and his Sai-Nakuri party’s claim nowhere to be found. Although there were mild reports of irregularities in some of the regions where animalians without the “olive silk” were allowed to vote, blurred results were alleged to be uploaded onto BITA, yet Nakurians were confident and hopeful that BITA would detect these anomalies and left everything to the wisdom of Professor Bat Bartimaeus, whose vision was topnotch and unrivalled at night. So, they retired to their households to sleep.

By dawn, words all over Nakuria were “unkhoto si Naku”, which loosely translates to “the magic wand of NAKU” as Nakurians lambasted Professor Bartimaeus announcement of Tyga the Tiger, winner and successor to N’kuri Buarji the Deaf in the dead of the night as flawed, and not a reflection of their votes, as he had used his magic wand to twist their fate. Thus, in a provocative demonstration to vent their displeasure, Nakurians woke up to the news of a burning palace and Za Tokkosstruggled to quell the resistance which was calling for the heads of N’kuri Buarji the Deaf Lion, Professor Bartimaeus and Tyga the Tiger who were rumored to have secretly left the shores of Nakuria to seek refuge in other animal kingdoms in Europe. In angst, they beheaded over 2,000 members of House Bat who had participated as returning officers in the election, torching the Uzaga in a wildfiredown to the ground and the jubilation that followed from the wilding resistance fulfilled the prophecy of old, Nakuria Apartè (Nakuria has fallen).

About Author

Collins Ozara is a talented author with two published works: “Mute Ant: A Compilation of Short Stories and Poems” and “Na Over Hype Kill 2020,” a satirical critique of Nigeria’s Vision 2020 initiative.

He also writes for Fintech companies, contributing creative content that bolsters their marketing efforts. Collins captivates audiences with his engaging stories on X @ThxOCA (formerly Twitter)

 

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